Saturday, August 1, 2015

Seasons Change

16 months.  I've been a wife, mom, friend, church staff member and full time student for the last 16 months.  The last 16 months have been, without a doubt, some of the busiest and most strenuous of my life as I've worked to maintain some kind of balance wearing all those different hats.  I haven't done it right all the time, but God was good and gracious to sustain both me and my family to get us through this season.

In 3 short weeks, my schooling will be complete and I'll officially have my Bachelors degree.  The current season that I'm in is about to come to a close so I've spent a lot of time in prayer this summer seeking God's guidance on what he has for me in this next season.  What will I do with all my "free time" that will no longer be set aside for listening to lectures, reading and writing?  It's strange that I've actually had some anxiety over what I'll be doing once school is over.  I've almost had a little bit of fear over the free time.  Even though this season has been crazy busy, I've grown accustom to the crazy and now, going back to "normal" seems a bit daunting.  Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to be done with school, but school has been my "normal" for so long now, that the change of not being in school is a little scary.

And so with these emotions bubbling up inside me, I've laid them at the feet of God, asking him to help me keep my emotions of fear and anxiety in check, and looking to him for guidance in this next season.

A couple weeks ago we were able to enjoy a little stay-cation as a family.  The slower pace of the week allowed me to really spend some good portions of time concentrating on this prayer to God: What do you have for me in this next season?


I didn't have the answers that week but God continued to give me peace through reminders of the promises of his word.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:5
"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Psalm 1:1-3 
Over the last few days however, it seems that God has been making it clear to me and my husband what he's calling me to in this next season.  And I'm ashamed to say that my first reaction was fear and denial.  "WHAT? ME!? You want ME to do THAT?  Oh no, Lord, I can't do THAT."

But praise be to God for the conviction of the Holy Spirit!  I was immediately convicted of my fear and reminded of Moses' initial reaction at the burning bush.  How often I've scoffed at his poor example and thought too highly of myself, "I would NEVER react that way when God calls me to something." #fail

We serve a good and gracious God who forgives his children when they ask for it.  With a humble and embarrassed heart, I asked God's forgiveness for my sinful initial reaction.  We serve a big God who time and time again uses the weak so that his power may be made visible in them.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Oh how weak a woman I am, and how desperately I will need him in this next season.  I am confident that he will guide, equip, sustain and give me everything I need to do what he has called me to do.  We aren't quite ready to share just yet what that is, but I have a feeling this blog will be a place I visit much more frequently in the new season ahead.  So stay tuned!

What season of life are you in?  Are you just beginning a new season?  Are you in the middle of a season?  Are you coming to the end of a season?  What has God taught you and how has he grown you in this season?

 

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